What do you think of "chemistry"? Isn't this the magical bond uniting women and men? Although the word hints of mystery, relationship experts have magnetism down to a science. Here are the shining qualities a golden partner will have.

Surprising Statistics

A 2014 study by DatingAdvice.com found that only 1 in 10 Americans cites appearance as the most important attribute in a potential partner. The research involved 1,080 adults. The most desirable qualities sought by subjects were morality and a sense of humor. 1/

However, there is a link between looks and personality. Our concept of beauty is based on a person's character. So if you meet someone with a delightful demeanor, they become more alluring to you. The opposite is also true. If you encounter someone who's dashing but they have a lousy disposition, the initial attraction fizzles.

Faulty First Impressions

In a 2013 study by Monmouth University, 78 adults rated beauty on the basis of yearbook photos. Then, after receiving personality details, they judged the pictures differently. Positive traits improved the ratings of beauty. Although initial impressions may be based on looks, these perceptions change with getting to know people better. 2/

True Compatibility

Regarding real affinity, a person's spirit carries more weight than cosmetic traits. This is the finding among relationship experts. Although teens may regard each other superficially, mature adults seek a deeper connection. With age, we realize that loveliness is fleeting, declining over time. Personality is much more enduring.

Charismatic Qualities

A poll by the Journal of Personality showed that the top 10 attributes ranked by most men and women are virtually identical. 3/ Based on this, we can deduce that when it comes to dating, both sexes are attracted by the same virtues. Is your curiosity peaked? Let's explore the qualities that lead to lasting fulfillment.

Kindness

Topping the list is being considerate. A University of Texas study asked 10,000 adults what merit they believed was most important in a mate. The #1 answer across the board was kindness. 4/

Rather than dressing up to the nines, the best way to attract your soulmate is to be kind. Examples of thoughtfulness are being on time and warming up the car on cold mornings. Let your significant other choose the movie, restaurant, or TV show. Engage in their hobby for a change.

At the root of being sweet is a smidgen of sacrifice. Your beloved's needs come first.

Honesty

Trust is the basis of a secure relationship. A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality found that honest participants were viewed as more beautiful. Evidently this purity manifests physically since the honest subjects were also seen as being more fit and healthy.

When the actions and words of your partner match, the consistency puts you at ease. Thoughts and feelings can be openly shared. You can align your desires and dreams.

At the opposite end of the communication spectrum is deception. Hiding behavior breeds contempt and suspicion. Conversely, honesty keeps hearts tender, safe, and sound. 5/

Lightheartedness

The dating website eHarmony advises that a sense of humor is very appealing. Laughing at oneself and life's trials makes challenges more manageable. Being cheerful and agreeable reduces the heaviness of hardship. It's natural to prefer the company of someone who's easygoing.

A study reported in the Journal of Positive Psychology tracked the lives of women with the brightest smiles in yearbook photos. Those with the biggest grins had the most fulfilling marriages. 6/

Are you familiar with the science behind smiling? To produce a grin, your brain sends signals to your facial muscles. As the muscles contract, they send impulses back to the brain, reinforcing the joy. This positive feedback loop is even more rewarding than the taste of chocolate! 6/ Smiling and laughter are the spices of happily married life.

Generosity

Researchers at the Gottman Institute in Washington have studied relationships for 40 years. One of their findings is that only three out of 10 marriages remain fulfilling. The top traits maintaining a happy union are kindness and generosity. 7/

Since we've already covered kindness, let's examine being magnanimous. While it includes sharing material possessions, it's also the lavish bestowal of attention and time. A generous person renders selfless acts on a broad scale. Their altruism extends to both strangers and people they love. It's the core of who they are. Here are some examples:

• freely giving praise
• serving a spiritual community
• acting as a mentor
• helping with chores
• contributing money to a cause
• buying thoughtful gifts
• showering compliments
• volunteering for a charity

The essence of being generous is not looking for a reciprocal gesture. The motivating factor is the pure delight of giving.

Dependability

Reliability is a shining quality that's vital to relationship. When your words are golden, you create building blocks of trust. Your integrity is solid. When this trait is lacking, stress snowballs to an unmanageable degree. Here are examples of dependability:

• being punctual
• fulfilling promises
• keeping appointments
• honoring commitments
• maintaining confidences
• acting on expressed intentions
• shouldering your share of responsibilities

Practical tools can promote dependability. Among them are calendars, day planners, electronic reminders, and post-it notes. Use a timer during an activity, and stop when the alarm sounds. Another tactic is leaving messages for yourself on your answering machine.

If you consistently come up short in credibility, you may need to change some habits. Here are some tips:

1. When preparing to travel, allow extra time to get to your destination.
2. Avoid overloading your schedule.
3. Develop the habits of being organized and orderly.
4. Maintain realistic "To Do" lists.
5. Keep multitasking to a minimum.

Affectionate

At the heart of a happy relationship is the expression of affection. Did you know that demonstrating your love has health benefits for you and your honey? Here's what research shows:

1. Holding hands, hugging, and touching releases "feel-good" hormones. Oxytocin reduces pain, lowers blood pressure, and promotes bonding. It also reduces the stress hormone cortisol.
2. Cuddling stimulates the production of immune cells, protecting against infection.
3. Snuggling increases serotonin and dopamine, hormones that trigger pleasure and cheerfulness.
4. Every day, human beings require a specific number of hugs. According to psychotherapist Virginia Satir, we need a daily quota of:
   • four hugs to survive
   • eight hugs for maintenance
   • 12 hugs to thrive 8/
5. A University of North Carolina study on the effects of hugging found that: A 10-second hug eases depression, fights infection, and offsets fatigue. A 20-second hug plus 10 minutes of holding hands lowers blood pressure, heart rate, and stress hormones. 9/

   Be What You Seek

   To draw a golden partner into your life, exemplify what you desire. Demonstrate:
   • kindness
   • honesty
   • lightheartedness
   • generosity
   • dependability
   • affection
   Try this as an experiment. You'll create the magical chemistry that builds a lasting bond. Be what you seek. Your soulmate will be drawn to you like a magnet!

   References
   1/ http://www.yourtango.com/experts/hayley-matthews/looks-really-matter
   2/ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a6601/qualities-guys-look-for-in-girlfriends/
   3/ http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2012/4/19/the-top-20-most-desired-personality-traits-in-a-future-spous.html
   4/ http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/what-men-find-attractive-women-besides-looks
   5/ http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092656606000043
   6/ https://blog.bufferapp.com/the-science-of-smiling-a-guide-to-humans-most-powerful-gesture
   7/ http://www.hngn.com/articles/49100/20141111/relationships-last-when-both-partners-have-these-2-traits.htm
   8/ http://preventdisease.com/news/14/012314_9-Reasons-Need-Giving-Receiving-Hugs-Everyday.shtml
   9/ http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4131508.stm
   Sources
   http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/what-men-find-attractive-women-besides-looks
   http://themilitarywifelife.com/2015/04/40-random-acts-of-kindness-for-your-husband.html
   http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/seven-qualities-of-an-ideal-partner/#.V0jKKvkrLhl
   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-nowinski-phd/true-generosity-the-key-t_b_1082834.html
   http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Dependable